Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
