My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
