another moral hangover. fuck.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
