I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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