Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
