I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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