it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
