how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
