TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
