I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
