Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
