i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
