In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
