Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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