haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
