In the future we'll all be gay
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
