The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
