**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
