we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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