Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
