I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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