Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I woke up under a house in Key West
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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