Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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