i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
