it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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