Please, let me fuck your mom
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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