She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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