but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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