I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
This baby is an asshole
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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