? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
