if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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