You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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