My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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