She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
