i need an iv and a liver transplant
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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