I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
