My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
