I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Can you bring me the toilet please
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
