Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
