after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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