Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
