No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
