And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize