She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
