Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Randomize
