how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
