your thong is hanging out like whoa
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
