You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
