How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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