If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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