I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
