Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize