Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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