um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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