She's JV to your varsity
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize