I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
