coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
