So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
