just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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