"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
