they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
